tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71031308533121946052024-03-14T05:52:31.677-07:00Changing PositionsHarlem Unitedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00633809970774713363noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-5245717431518452602009-07-23T10:57:00.000-07:002009-07-23T13:20:19.704-07:00Getting Down...Anilingus-Style<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI4kzRpBwRViXhi1b962Wba_yBi7ggMAvEWMLfz9itkm2miNkAjiOEAQ7DViRAqwNJpgSXvzbhRnXRGZ0VxyNYwyrKkbo0ro9BjQek2lruQGsl4vse4c_gB0i7e8fF8SoFAhpS3blVWlV5/s1600-h/rimdemo.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361727804999018834" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 255px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 284px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI4kzRpBwRViXhi1b962Wba_yBi7ggMAvEWMLfz9itkm2miNkAjiOEAQ7DViRAqwNJpgSXvzbhRnXRGZ0VxyNYwyrKkbo0ro9BjQek2lruQGsl4vse4c_gB0i7e8fF8SoFAhpS3blVWlV5/s320/rimdemo.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><div>Salad tossing, rimming, butt licking, rim-job or eating ass...getting down anilingus style involves licking, penetrating with the tongue, sucking, kissing, or otherwise stimulating your partner's ass. </div><br /><div>Our bodies are full of pleasure potential and even seemingly unlikely body parts can be intense pleasure centers when fully aroused. While sometimes a precursor to butt fucking, rimming is a form of stimulation that can be it's own means to an erotic end. Pleasure for the reciever comes from the sensitive nerve endings around the ass, pleasure for the giver comes from watching your parner squirm and moan as you spread open his ass cheeks and dig in for an all you can eat buffet. </div><div> </div><div>Mutual ass eating can be achieved by the <em>69 </em>position, however, i find it much more pleasurable to straddle your partner's face with your ass, body facing his legs <em>(just like in the pic)</em> for full butt hole access. In this position, you can lean forward to rim or suck your partners cock, and as you bounce up and down his face, make sure to sit up and be able to support your own weight, or else you may be giving your man too much of a good thing and sufficate him in ass! <em>(how would you explain <strong>that</strong> to the paramedics!)</em></div><em></em></div><div><em></em> </div><div><em></em><div>The best thing to do, if you want to suck on your partners cock while you get rimmed, is to have him use his legs to lift your hips upward and this <em>should </em>bring his crotch close enough to your mouth to suck on. Another good position for rimming is to get on all fours or flat on your stomach with legs spread eagle, then your partner can really go to town on you! <em>Or</em> try getting rimmed with your legs spread and bent over a table or desk <em>(also try one leg up on the table!)</em> , with the rimmer sitting at the edge of a chair....<em>now that's HOT</em>!!!</div><div> </div><div>If your going to be <em>doing</em> the rimming, spread your partners butt cheeks apart, push deep with your tongue and make it wet! When rimming a guy, gently play with his ass cheeks, squeeze them with your hands and feel their texture....you may even want to give them a nice gentle slap! </div><div> </div><div>An interesting and fun experience for your partner may be to get "hummed". "Humming" is pushing your face into his ass, with your tongue probing his hole, and then moaning/humming out loud! For the person getting "hummed", it's an experience you'll never forget....<em>trust me</em>! </div><div> </div><div>So, whether you decided to get rimmed or do the rimming...to gain back door access, all you have to do is find a way! </div><div> </div><div>Enjoy! =)</div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div></div><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-7567937005603538812009-07-17T16:13:00.000-07:002009-07-17T16:54:55.206-07:00Leather Org Cums in the Eye of Bareback Porn<div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SmEMrOaYl7I/AAAAAAAAAF0/AcJ22LO9-14/s1600-h/wingman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 245px; height: 245px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SmEMrOaYl7I/AAAAAAAAAF0/AcJ22LO9-14/s400/wingman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359578968290269106" border="0" /></a>30 year old leather fetish organization - International Mr. Leather (IML) sent a letter this week revealing its plan to ban porn companies and other vendors who promote bareback sex from its popular leather market. According to <a href="http://www.thesword.com/index.php/mixedmedia/2947.html">thesword.com</a>, the letter reads in part:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“Too many in our community believe HIV/AIDS is curable or manageable. Too few understand that HIV/AIDS infections dominate life. ... Several years ago when “Meth” was the scourge of our community, IML drew a line in the sand and raised awareness and used all our influence to try and stop this addictive madness. As is the case with HIV/AIDS, we believe it is our further obligation to do everything in our power to </span><span style="font-style: italic;">prevent future infections.”</span><br /><br />This moved has raised the ire of some in the bareback porn industry. Folks are mad at what they describe as an effort by IML to censor bareback behaviors and control what consenting adults do in their own bedrooms. “PigMaster” from BareBackRT.com says:<br /><br />“We see no difference between IML’s announcement and the U.S. Government saying gays must pay taxes but can’t marry or enjoy any of the rights associated with marriage.”<br /><br />Former studio staple turned bareback porn star/producer Owen Hawk has taken to thesword.com to voice his objection to this move by IML. In his rant there and on the <a href="http://www.darkalley.com/blog/?p=383">Dark Alley blog</a>, Mr. Hawk says that IML is no position to “censor” companies that produce bareback media given the company’s history of hosting events where PNP and bareback sex are the norm. He also cites the absence of data that provides a direct correlation between bareback porn and rising rates of HIV infection among gay men. In making his last point, Mr. Hawk goes on to suggest that there is some kind of parallel between the growth in the bareback porn industry and the success of HIV prevention efforts aimed at gay men:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“In fact, in the time in which we have seen the largest increase in production of bareback porn, we have also seen “dramatic success” of HIV prevention programs. So the idea that there is some causative link between bareback porn and increasing infections is an emotional response that is not supported by actual surveillance data.”</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SmENMJiYyDI/AAAAAAAAAF8/cDKV1l5_ILw/s1600-h/brutos9569_OwenHawk.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SmENMJiYyDI/AAAAAAAAAF8/cDKV1l5_ILw/s400/brutos9569_OwenHawk.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359579533917341746" border="0" /></a>Of all the opposing responses to IML’s decision, Mr. Hawk’s stand out the most. First, no one I’ve spoken to in HIV Prevention from Seattle to New York to San Francisco speaks of “dramatic success”. Rates of HIV infection among gay men have remained consistent or increased, particularly among young people and men of color. Second, the absence of data correlating bareback porn to HIV prevalence does not mean that there is no connection. I would argue that the increased demand for bareback porn is a pretty good indicator for what people are actually doing…or want to do. Are we to believe that individuals are demanding bareback porn more and more, but not engaging in these behaviors?<br /><br />Money, Money, Money!<br /><br />The use of words like “censorship” as well as comparisons of IML’s decision to the gay marriage fight is inaccurate and irresponsible. IML, as an independent organization, has the right to set limits on what folks are exposed to at events and during activities they sponsor. It’s that simple. They decided to take a stand. I can’t imagine that it was an easy decision as they will undoubtedly lose money. I suspect that the negative response is due in part to financial hardship this creates for porn companies and vendors that will no longer be able to attend IML events. The IML Leather Market provided an opportunity to promote products and make money and now they can’t do that. I would be upset too. For better or worse however, there is clearly a demand for bareback porn. What’s to stop bareback porn producers from creating their own events?<br /><br />In a previous post, I wrote about our <a href="http://changingpositions.blogspot.com/2009/07/pride-progress-and-preoccupation-with.html">preoccupation with cum</a>, the possible implications, and the responsibility of porn companies to address the possible impact their products may have on consumer behavior. As a standalone measure, IML’s decision will not change the direction of the epidemic among gay men, but I think it’s a step in the right direction.<br /><br />Follow this <a href="http://thesword.com/index.php/skintrade/2953-iml-founder-chuck-renslow-responds.html">link</a> for the follow up interview with IML founder Chuck Renslow at TheSword.com.<br /><br />Props to the Facebook friend who brought this to my attention and props to <a href="http://thesword.com/">TheSword.com</a> for their reporting.<br /><br />Image Sources:<br /><a href="http://www.imrl.com/history/images/wingman.jpg">IML Logo, </a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4CFoPCnKpgmQaTNKgCrNwV7ipvfBAGh4fPI_x8vFJQtxGWRRVnZJprEWXKNuLnoE3MH0NtFmSg6Uv5Pcv5LBGek1ujYA-NRFBjrME5Cxi8reaW8OkCFVVSBhyXYY24ZQsjcve2u9udRw/s400/brutos9569_OwenHawk.jpg">Owen Hawk</a><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:11;" ></span></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-28735306491521565412009-07-09T11:25:00.000-07:002009-07-09T13:59:29.210-07:00Let's CUT to it!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCew9P69iHTr-pps3UPsAc1B1ANkFAlYDJ4_ABBx5PQd-xD_uN8v5X39q7iqm0cGStYPdHZzyuj4G7rhfM8uCBxeiujyIMatnKyWtK_PwEynzDjyI5ecPL2kY51ZxNPxUrP5Ap2SxD-fNK/s1600-h/3329722390_f95b3b569e.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356528425859916066" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 213px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCew9P69iHTr-pps3UPsAc1B1ANkFAlYDJ4_ABBx5PQd-xD_uN8v5X39q7iqm0cGStYPdHZzyuj4G7rhfM8uCBxeiujyIMatnKyWtK_PwEynzDjyI5ecPL2kY51ZxNPxUrP5Ap2SxD-fNK/s320/3329722390_f95b3b569e.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><p>The other day, some friends and I were talking about dick (<em>no surprise there!) </em>and as my Cosmo did it's magic, i moved beyond talking about our experience with the small vs big dick talk and how we like to take it or for sum of us...give it and I asked if they were <em>cut</em> or <em>uncut, </em>and a long silence fell among us. I knew it was an extremely personal question, but hey...we <em>were </em>already talking about how we like to get fucked, so <em>why not</em>? Before they answered, I upgraded our drinks to Martinis to <em>loosen </em>the awkwardness and <em>cut </em>to the chase. (<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mkmabus/3329722390/">image source)</a> </p><p>Several months ago, a friend of mine was telling me about his recent circumcision. I've never seen him so happy and proud...as if he had finally joined <em>the club. </em>He had taken pictures of his dick and showing it off to me...however, before he told me it was <em>his</em> dick pic, all he said was "look at this". I have to admit...it was soooo pretty and i was like "Who is THAT!". After he told me it was him...i blushed, wiped the drool from my mouth and i saw him in a whole new light and was immediately attracted to it...i mean him. And so, that's when i had a reality check....am I a dick cutting lover??? I always considered myself an equal opportuniy cock sucker...however, my newly circumcised friend reminded me that while I like to think i'm an equal opportunity slurp machine, he could recount the stories of how i would NOT suck an uncircumcised dick...including his!</p><p>The "hood", "cap", whatever you call it, boys are born with foreskin, covering the head of the dick. Deciding to circumcise is one of the biggest decisions our parents make and has a lasting impact as we go through adolescence and adulthood. But is it necessary to be circumcised? Some of us don't have the choice, as my friend did, and it's reported that about 65% of boys born in the US are circumcised. The procedure drops to less than half in boys born in Europe, South America, Central Ameria and Asia. The decsion to circumcise is usually fueled by cultural, social, or religious beliefs, including concerns about hygiene. </p><p>So what do the doctor's say about circumcision?</p><p>The Pros: </p><p>1) You are less likely to develope a urinary tract infection</p><p>2) Risk of penile cancer is greatly reduced</p><p>3) Less chance of irritation, inflamation and infection</p><p>4) Easier to keep clean</p><p>5) Evidence that it may offer an additional line of defense against STD's including HIV</p><p>The Cons:</p><p>1) Lost of sensation in the head of the dick, decreasing sexual pleasure</p><p>2) Painful</p><p>(DO WE NEED ANYMORE?)</p><p>Many men, who often undergo the procedure as adults tend to regret it, claiming the difference in their sexual pleasure is like going from wearing a condom to wearing a glove. My friend who was recently circumcised did share he has noticed the difference, however, he also shared that he no longer feels embarrassed to walk around naked in the showers and feeling <em>different</em> from the other guys who were cut. As for my other friends whom i was having drinks with....well, lets just say there are no more secrets between us and that's the uncut truth! </p><p>While there are many claims that circumcision reduces the risk of HIV transmission, many other studies have found.."<a href="http://www.circumcision.org/hiv.htm">no significant effect of circumcision status and HIV acquisition</a>" so, whether you are cut or uncut...best to put on that rubber on that bad puppy. Now, i'm going to hunt me an uncut dick and play with it...hood and all!</p><p></p><p></p>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-15194861866984234872009-07-08T00:23:00.000-07:002009-07-08T01:03:05.091-07:00FUK!T Honey - Can we see past the sexy?<div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SlRQ3vARgMI/AAAAAAAAAFs/1TNkZ1xO_nQ/s1600-h/559_beneton1-thumb-559x406-6027.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 291px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SlRQ3vARgMI/AAAAAAAAAFs/1TNkZ1xO_nQ/s400/559_beneton1-thumb-559x406-6027.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355994775291003074" border="0" /></a>My last post about our Man-Find campaign got me to thinking about the development of HIV prevention media campaigns and how they've changed over the years. Before the brainchild that was George W. Bush, there were actually a number of community-based orgs that developed really sexy, provocative ads designed to entice and educate.<br /><br />A D.C. based work group, responding to the alarming rates of HIV among gay and bisexual men in Washington launched a really sexy ad campaign and materials as part of their first project. The ad campaign features a diverse set of models--nude and clothed--wearing condoms, holding condoms...just being downright sexy. My first response is that it's about time; finally...a really sexy condom campaign. <span style="font-size:78%;"><a href="http://dc.bilerico.com/2009/06/fukt_but_use_a_toolkit.php">(image source)</a></span><br /><br />My second response: Can we see past the sexy? As an admitted horn dog, I acknowledge what happens to me when I see a nice round ass or a hard dick. I have to admit that ads that feature naked men will almost certainly get my attention.<br /><br />But is that enough? What happens after we get past the sexy? Will these ads serve their intended purpose? What do you think? What makes a condom ad effective?<br /><br />Here's some video from the FUK!T launch:<br /></div><br /><center><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/COwhIJ5J1GY&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/COwhIJ5J1GY&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></center><br /><br />Visit <a href="http://www.queerclick.com/archive/2009/07/fukt_-_stop_hiv_please_fck_responsibly.php">Queerclick</a> for the sexy uncensored images.Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-62311674663271836472009-07-07T23:42:00.000-07:002009-07-08T01:04:34.677-07:00Changing Positions – Title Track<div style="text-align: justify;">For over 20 years, community-based organizations and other public health educators have developed and employed messages aimed at reducing HIV infection among the groups they target. While the messages—in the form of posters, buttons, and printed material—may be different based on the target group, all of these messages have one thing in common. Providers have historically refrained from using language that may suggest to people that they are being judged or told what to do. HIV pre & post test counselors and others are trained to avoid words or phrases such as: “you should do this” or “don’t do that”. The logic here is that individuals may find this language off-putting, and may be reluctant to seek help in the future. There is truth to this logic – most people do not like being told what to do and will shut down if they feel judged.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />As such, community based organizations and other public health officials put great effort into developing messages and campaigns aimed at fighting HIV transmission. Providers conduct research, collect data from their own day to day work and partner with social marketing experts to craft messages that will have the greatest impact with the largest group of people.<br /><br />HIV Prevention messages have evolved a lot over the past 29 years. In the early 80’s service providers and public health educators focused on condom use. It was a period some called “Condom Education”. It was logical…it made sense…put a condom on and you’ll be safe:<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SlRAlG4Q-XI/AAAAAAAAAFc/iKkqTcJpNHQ/s1600-h/Use+a+condom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 499px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SlRAlG4Q-XI/AAAAAAAAAFc/iKkqTcJpNHQ/s320/Use+a+condom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355976863096306034" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;"><a href="http://profiles.nlm.nih.gov/VC/B/B/H/C/_/vcbbhc.jpg">(image source</a><a href="http://profiles.nlm.nih.gov/VC/B/B/H/C/_/vcbbhc.jpg">)</a></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">We moved from there to the sex positive 90’s. The notion of talking about sex began to make more sense. It was no longer sufficient to simply hand someone a condom and hope they would know why it was important to use it. Folks who decided they were ready to use condoms lacked the language to negotiate condom use with their partners. Enter community based organizations with a revised message and new sex positive language. Providers began talking about sex in real ways…and so did entertainers:<br /></div><br /><center><embed src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:mtv.com:163939" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="configParams=type%3Dnormal%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideo%3Amtv.com%3A163939%26startUri=mgid%3Auma%3Avideo%3Amtv.com%3A163939" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" base="." height="319" width="512"></embed></center><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">The evolution continued with the incorporation of “risk reduction” messages. At the time, the logic was to take an honest look at what people were doing…what they were willing to do with respect to using condoms. There was an acknowledgement that some people refused to use condoms so providers sought to educate them on ways they can continue their activities but in a safer way: You don’t like using condoms? Well, you can reduce your risk by not cumming inside of your partner, engaging in mutual masturbation, oral sex instead of anal, or anal sex with one partner with whom you in are in a committed relationship.<br /><br />The arrival of OraSure and the OraQuick rapid testing technology brought us into the new millennium with a renewed focus on HIV testing and linkage to care. In the face of increasing rates of HIV infection among gay men, particularly young people and men of color, providers sought to advance HIV prevention by switching focus from HIV negative people to identifying, diagnosing, and providing care for HIV positive individuals. As such, the messages were no longer about condoms. Instead, we heard about how, when, and why we should get tested.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SlRCpODICnI/AAAAAAAAAFk/EWmuDBqZlyo/s1600-h/OraQuick_Test.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 348px; height: 271px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SlRCpODICnI/AAAAAAAAAFk/EWmuDBqZlyo/s320/OraQuick_Test.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355979132763638386" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;"><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/testing/rapid/images/OraQuick_Test.gif">(image source)</a></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">For me, Changing Positions represents an effort to incorporate all that we’ve learned about HIV, sex, and human nature to communicate—in an honest and frank manner—the realities of HIV transmission. The position that is being changed is that notion that providers censor themselves for fear that people may not want to hear the truth. The bottom line is that if you fuck lots of people without condoms you are placing yourself at risk for HIV and STD infection. I could put sugar on that…but it’s an undeniable fact. The more you do it, the more your level of risk increases. Obviously, that it’s a fact is not enough to make folks change their behavior, so we also want to talk about the struggles. If you’re not using condoms, why? If you are, how? If you’re a bareback loving cum dumpster, let us know what’s on your mind.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Take a look at the posters that were developed for the Man-Find campaign by visiting Man-Find.com and clicking the "free downloads" link.<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-5058702552137311392009-07-06T08:11:00.000-07:002009-07-07T13:56:14.046-07:00Trans-Phobia<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil0tawl6tdqXpcw_SOWATv_Bh-BPdnRalZF_PBEicP8_weK_OzODpa-2WUrz2sZ-umz2L8IrBDZlTM0qQoz69I8qaQW_Fd9Xg2BarBilO081IUMznV_mkZhfb-LwEE1XrkxWQXor4ZFshj/s1600-h/2674691325_f7359ca10e.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355371392551564178" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil0tawl6tdqXpcw_SOWATv_Bh-BPdnRalZF_PBEicP8_weK_OzODpa-2WUrz2sZ-umz2L8IrBDZlTM0qQoz69I8qaQW_Fd9Xg2BarBilO081IUMznV_mkZhfb-LwEE1XrkxWQXor4ZFshj/s320/2674691325_f7359ca10e.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The news of another vicious attack on a transgender woman durring the peak of Pride month once again re-inforced in me the challenges ahead of us. (<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27299775@N07/2674691325/">image source</a>)<br /><br />As i walked the Pride parade route down 5th avenue, I couldn't help but think of our transgender brothers and sisters who were not there to march with us. While there were times when I just wanted to stop walking, i began to think about Leslie Mora, a beautiful transgender woman brutally attacked on June 19th by two men who beat her with a belt as her assailants called her faggot in Spanish. The attack left Leslie with multiple injuries and she was found nearly naked and bleeding on the sidewalk. I was disgusted by the news and my Pride festivities were marred by the brutality of this hate crime.<br /><br />Hate crimes against the transgender community continue at an alarming rate. Even within our own LGBT community, transgender people are perhaps the least understood. Growing up, i witnessed many of my own transgender friends be targeted for hate violence based on their nonconformity with gender norms and/or their percieved sexual orientation. Anti-transgender hate crimes continue to be under-reported, often because there is doubt that local authorities will treat them with respect or investigate the crime. Or, there is a fear that exposure as a transgender person will jeopardize their jobs, housing or relationships with friends and family.<br /><br />But we....<em><strong>I</strong></em>, can't be silent about this! The perpetrators must be brought to justice and the Queens DA must investigate as a hate crime. These punks tend to attack in groups and are cowards, and so <em><strong>we</strong></em> must also stand together to speak up and fight back. The transgender community is part of my community and family. In an earlier post, "<a href="http://changingpositions.blogspot.com/2009/06/celebrating-pride.html">Celebrating Pride</a>" I asked, "why do you march?". I march for <strong>Leslie Mora, Sanesha Stweart, Nakhia Williams, Ashley Sweeney, Angie Zapata, Lawrence King, Simmie Williams, Ebony Whitaker, Rita Hester, Brandon Teena </strong>and many others who have been murdered for being transgender.<br />(to learn more about them click <a href="http://www.transgenderdor.org/?page_id=58"><strong>here</strong></a>)<br /><br /><a href="http://www.rememberingourdead.org/day/">Transgender Day of Rememberance</a>, was started by activist Gwen Smith, as a day which marks the many lives lost in the transgender community due to hatred and bias.<br /><br />Hate crimes against anyone in our community is intolerable, join me in doing your part in doing something about it. Speak up and stand up! and protect each other.<br /><br /><br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1wy4EAigSBw&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1wy4EAigSBw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-195683067853947692009-07-01T20:24:00.000-07:002009-07-02T02:27:59.676-07:00PRIDE, Progress and the Preoccupation with Cum<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/Skx4Z_-8YYI/AAAAAAAAAFU/40QqPXTMk_w/s1600-h/raising_gay_flag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 291px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/Skx4Z_-8YYI/AAAAAAAAAFU/40QqPXTMk_w/s400/raising_gay_flag.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353786445104177538" border="0" /></a>Picture it: the year was 1992. So much stuff happened that year. Amy Fisher (the “Long Island Lolita”) shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco , George H.W. Bush threw up in the lap of Japan's Prime Minister, and the Rodney King verdict kicked off the L.A. riots. I was 15 going on 16, newly out of the closet and I couldn't get enough of the village and everything gay. I was so geeked out on Pride that I signed up to be a parade marshal walking alongside the Hetrick-Martin Institute and I broke night from Saturday into Sunday morning. I rushed home to get my turquoise Marshall t-shirt (I was so proud) making it back to the 5th Ave/57th St. area just in time to begin the parade. <a href="http://timandvictor.com/tv/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/raising20gay20flag.jpg">(image source)</a><br /><br />It was overcast that day, but nothing could dampen my spirit. It was so amazing to find myself among other GLBT folks. I had no idea there were that many of us….people from all over the world, in every shape, size, and color. It was amazing. I wanted to see everything, meet everyone and do everything. I felt so safe. Stonewall 25 (2 years later) would easily trump my first Pride in just about <a style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);" href="http://www.dimitridevuyst.be/stonewall25/photosstonewall/NE9B5C.jpg">every way</a> (attendance, expense, etc.), but as you know…nothing can trump your first time.<br /><br />The morning of what would be my 17th Pride parade found me browsing the net for news and reporting about Stonewall 40 and its significance. Understandably, the net was jammed with news about the untimely deaths of music legend Michael Jackson and 70’s siren Farrah Fawcett. A friend sent me an <a style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/28/opinion/28rich.html">article</a> that confirmed what I already thought was true. <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255); font-weight: bold;">Nothing has changed.</span> Despite an ease in attitudes toward gay people in much of mainstream society, we have the same rights we did in 1969. Sure, we can marry in certain states, but comprehensive equal rights for GLBT folk extend far beyond being able to say “I do”. Progress my ass.<br /><br />GLBT second class citizenship has had a profound impact which is reflected in nearly every aspect of our lives. For the purposes of Changing Positions, I’ll focus on sex. The ways in which gay men met and socialized before the internet was determined by the times and the city in which they lived. <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">Men didn’t start cruising parks because it was a sexy thing to do.</span> They did it because circumstances at the time forced them to adapt. We developed non verbal cues, rules and norms around cruising. We did what we had to do to get off. Flash forward to 2009, and guys are still cruising...only this time we also cruise the internet. <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255); font-weight: bold;">The technology has changed, but the circumstances haven’t.</span><br /><br />Ever since I read about the <a style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255); font-weight: bold;" href="http://changingpositions.blogspot.com/2009/06/one-about-invisible-condoms.html">invisible condom</a>, I’ve been thinking about the time and money Chris Steel and his company must devote to develop a condom that disappears on film. I ain’t mad at him; companies must follow trends and give the audience what they are looking for. Apparently porn customers want to watch men fucking without condoms. What started as an underground movement of amateur pornographers making low-grade bareback porn has morphed into a formidable niche in the gay porn industry. Countless studios have sprung up offering muscle boys, twinks, groups, gay-4-pay “straight boys”, and mature men all engaging in bareback sex in varying degrees of intensity from the pre-condom classics (hey it’s 1965, no one wears condoms – peace man), modern amateur clips (people like it, so we’ll make it) to the “breeding” movies which feature internal cumshots. Most studios include an obligatory disclaimer about bareback sex. To paraphrase: it’s a personal choice between informed partners, our models are tested, blah, blah, blah. <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255); font-weight: bold;">Translation: Our guys are fucking without condoms because you lap this shit up, but don’t blame us if you do it and get infected.</span><br /><br />Which brings me to the cum. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255); font-weight: bold;">When did we become so obsessed with seeing guys cum inside of each other?</span> Is this like…a known thing, and I’m late to the party? I mean, I guess I understand the concept of cumming uninterrupted into something warm, wet ….and tight, but the breeding films seem to have a fuck the system, living on the edge, Russian roulette quality to them.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255); font-weight: bold;">So I have questions…</span><br /><br /><ol style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"><li>Is it the chicken or the egg? Early news about pre-condom era films being repackaged raised concerns that folks would say fuck it..and stop wearing condoms. What do you think?</li><li>Do you watch bareback porn? Why or why not?</li><li>Is having bareback sex a way to exert power in a society that keeps us powerless?</li></ol>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-15341139691956177362009-06-24T14:48:00.000-07:002009-06-24T18:05:16.667-07:00The one about the Invisible CondomsSeveral years ago, after one of the few times my roommate and I went to the same club (he's straight), we found ourselves on 8th Avenue, at a place where I often went to buy porn.<br /><br />He went to his isle and I went to mine. I had never gone over to the straight porn section. I had no reason...but on this day, I decided to go over and take a look. What struck me was that while the gay isle featured a bareback section, virtually every movie in the straight isle featured bareback is so 2008 sex. I assume the rationale was that the risk level for straight people is perceived as minimal and a requirement for condoms was not necessary.<br /><br />Flash forward several years, and a friend who knows I contribute to this blog sent me a link about invisible condoms. It seems that Raging Stallion director Chris Steele has been working behind the scenes to develop a condom that is virtually invisible on standard televisions. From <a href="http://www.chriswardpornblog.com/2007/01/raging-stallion-invents-way-to-make.html">Chris Steele's January 2009 blog posting</a>:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"In the past I used to argue that showing bareback sex educated viewers to practice unsafe sex. Today, however, this argument does not hold up. Viewers seeking bareback movies can buy them from more than a dozen bareback companies and from studios who have large libraries of pre-condom classics. Today my reason for not producing bareback movies is simple and precise--as a director and company owner, I cannot have a potentially unsafe work environment on my sets. I am not willing to ask actors to have unprotected sex while under my direction.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">So we have come up with a solution that, I think, may change the industry as we know it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Over the past year I have undertaken a huge (and secret) research and development project aimed at filming safe sex so that the viewer cannot see the condoms. In short, the condoms are still on the dick but not in the viewer's face. Just as Hollywood studios can remove street signs or unwanted images from their movies, Raging Stallion now has the capability of making condoms barely visible in most cases.</span><br /><br /><a style="font-style: italic;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.chriswardpornblog.com/uploaded_images/mirage2-020507-772111.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://www.chriswardpornblog.com/uploaded_images/mirage2-020507-770122.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">You will soon see scenes from us that have what looks more and more like condomless fucking. We will be including footage on special features of the discs that prove that condoms are being used. And a viewer with an large HD screen TV will still be able to see the condom on close up or freeze frame.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Our new invisible condom technology does not work in every scene--skin color, lighting environment, temperature, humidity levels, hardness of the hard on, etc. are all factors that play into how visible the new condoms are. Since a huge amount of post-production time is also used to make condoms invisible, we do not always have time on every movie to remove all condoms. In some scenes you will see condoms in some shots, but not in others.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Going forward Raging Stallion is going to make condoms as inconspicuous as possible as a way of making the hottest erotic images possible.</span>"<br /><br />Prior to posting on this, I spoke to a friend and asked him what he thought. He said that he understands that as a business man, it is understandable that Mr. Steele would want to take advantage of the growing bareback niche, but has concerns that folks not aware that these condoms are invisible may take these movies as permission to not use condoms.<br /><br />I don't think folks need permission to not use condoms, but I do have questions:<br /><br />What's with cum? When did cum become such a big fetish that the condoms need to be inconspicuous in porn? It took me a long time to allow anyone to get their cum on me...and it's still not my favorite thing. But people clearly like it...so why?<br /><br />Is it the chicken or the egg? Do people have bareback sex because they see it in porn films or do porn films feature bareback sex because that is what people are doing?<br /><br />Do porn companies have a responsibility to make films that advise against unprotected sex and risky behavior?<br /><br />What are the implications when a porn company goes to the extremes and expense of removing condoms in post production. What does this mean?<br /><br />Please drop a comment and share your thoughts. Courtesy of queerclick.com, you can see a side by side comparison of pre and post production versions of the "invisible condom" <a href="http://www.queerclick.com/archive/2007/01/the_invisible_c_1.php">here</a>.Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-77257311759853170602009-06-24T13:10:00.000-07:002009-06-24T21:16:31.099-07:00Marriage is Between a Man & a Woman... and a Woman in ArgentinaDon't Cry for Me Argentina!!<br /><br />After disappearing for nearly 6 days, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford & 2012 Presidential hopeful, revealed today that he was not on an Appalachian trail - as had been previously reported--but that he was in Argentina visiting a female "friend" with whom he carrying on an affair.<br /><br /><center><object width="445" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0uSNwjJaPAo&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca&border=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0uSNwjJaPAo&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="364" width="445"></embed></object></center><br /><br />The word that comes to mind here is hypocrite. During the 2000 election, the Republican party used gay rights and gay marriage to frighten conservative voters into voting against their own ideals. With the country smarting from the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Bush promised that Republicans would bring family values back to the Oval Office. Prop H8ters say they are trying to protect to institution of marriage.<br /><br />Pattern? Yes. From Palin to Gingrich, the Republicans have been positioned themselves as America's moral authority. For better or worse however, several current high-level GOP'ers have all but dismantled the concept that Republicans have cornered the market on morality. The list below provides some details on the private shenanigans of some of our public figures:<br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Randy Democrats:</span><br /><ol><li>Dem. Presidential Candidate John Edwards - Adultery/Questions about use of campaign $</li><li>Fmr. President Bill Clinton - Adultery, Cigars and more</li><li>Fmr. NYC Gov. Elliot Spitzer - Adultery, Sex with prostitute despite prosecuting prostitution rings</li><li>Fmr. NJ Gov. Jim McGreevey - Adultery, sex with male staffer hired on tax payers dime</li></ol><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Randy Republicans:</span><br /><ol><li>LA Sen. David Vitter - hired prostitutes</li><li>Sen. Larry Craig - cruising, caught soliciting sex from male in police sting</li><li>Fla State Rep. Mark Foley - accused of soliciting sex via emails sent to congressional pages (teenage boys)</li><li>Sen John Ensign - having an affair with a staffer's wife</li></ol>Why do these people get to set public policy about private lives?<br /><br />Which brings me to gay marriage. I want to be clear that I suffer no illusions that gay marriage will reduce HIV infection among gay men, but having the option may change the way we look at our relationships. I believe that living in a society where GLBT people can get married will change the way that young people in our community feel about themselves. If they don't feel alone, then perhaps the suicide rate will decrease. If people felt that their relationships were valid, they might appreciate them more.<br /><br />I am fearful that Democrats and the gay community will "stay above the fray" and not point out the obvious contradiction in the way political leaders live their lives and the way they are forcing us to live ours. Mark Sanford will have to answer to his family. His infidelity is not my business. His hypocrisy is another story.Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-81050103748578465032009-06-18T07:48:00.000-07:002009-06-18T11:14:26.806-07:00Celebrating Pride<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0wlzXwZfk-lfWmn6sqctbMQ7X3qbXQVR3AwHMZpLLD9mgNqewQnLNkZ2yVexT1nuaurqOOjtOZnL_BkLT7oWC4U7erq2RPetbwju5cNUBJ-qifAipWmvWqdYdZ5ET8-V04KFzIdfIN-CU/s1600-h/65912957_f129dea9c1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348703815446163682" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0wlzXwZfk-lfWmn6sqctbMQ7X3qbXQVR3AwHMZpLLD9mgNqewQnLNkZ2yVexT1nuaurqOOjtOZnL_BkLT7oWC4U7erq2RPetbwju5cNUBJ-qifAipWmvWqdYdZ5ET8-V04KFzIdfIN-CU/s320/65912957_f129dea9c1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I attended my first gay pride event at 16. It was your typical cool and overcast San Francisco summer. I was scared, excited, worried and surprised all at once. I've never seen so many other gay people in my life. As the <a href="http://www.dykesonbikes.org/">Dikes on Bikes </a>started the festivities, and roared past me, breast to the wind and aviator sunglasses, i silently wondered if it had always been like this. The <a href="http://www.thesisters.org/">Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence</a> danced past me in all their white make-up glory, and the post-op transgendered woman in bikini with a rainbow colored boa kissed my cheeks, i was overcome with emotion as i was witnessing for the first time the beauty, and diversity of a community. I saw the potential of what can happen once a group of people comes together to celebrate our individuality and sexuality. While my first pride event was filled with laughter and shameless flirting, it took me some time to <em>really</em> appreciate the history behind this incredible event and political implications behind it. (<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sixybeast/65912957/"><span style="color:#666666;"><strong>image source</strong></span></a>)</div><br /><div>Pride has become the biggest party of the queer calendar. It feels like Christmas, looks like Halloween and we celebrate and commemorate it like it was <em>our</em> 4th of July. Throughout the years, the face of Pride has changed to reflect the changing face of queer life. In its people and music we see our dreams and joy, our accomplishments and challenges. In the spirit of Pride 2009, i'd like to take this time to enlighten the uninformed, and remind the already aware of what we have achieved and have yet to do.</div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>1969: The Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in the Greenwich Village section of New York City was <a href="http://www.yak.net/ian/stonewall.html">raided by police</a>. In the early morning of Saturday, June 28th gay, lesbian, transgendered people and drag queens rioted as a protest to the continued oppression of gay, lesbian and transgendered rights. The Stonewall riots lasted several days, and many were arrested. For the first time, a significant amount of LGBT persons resisted arrest and many who initially fought back were persons of colour. A movement was born. Following the historic Stonewall riots in New York City, people are consumed with the power of liberation and celebration. The first march is scheduled for the summer of 1970. These early years were both serious and fun and were utilized to inspire and the growing activist movement for greater LGBT rights. Several years later, other major cities started their own annual marches. Some of these marches were called <em>Gay Liberation Marches</em>, and <em>Gay Freedom Marches</em>. By the late '70s, organizers consolidate the marches under one name, calling the annual event Gay Pride to make is seem like a movement and gain legitimacy. By the early '90s, in the era of political correctness, as families, friends and other supporters began to march with their LGBT sons and daughters, the event becomes known simply as Pride. The march had transformed once again since the early years to include HIV/AIDS advocacy and remembrance. </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>As new challenges emerge within our community, take some time to honor the battles of the past, the fallen heros in stiletto shoes and ask yourself...what does celebrating Pride mean to you?</div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Have a happy and safe Pride</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-4695436707269721352009-06-18T07:18:00.000-07:002009-06-25T10:39:13.776-07:00Sorting your CULOCould serosorting be the answer to protect your <em>culo</em>? Whether your meeting your <em>culo</em> on-line or in the streets, this growing phenomenom is becoming common practice for many MSM's. So before we decide if serosorting is right for the <em>culo</em>...lets dig a little deeper to find out just what the heck is <em><a href="http://www.thebody.com/content/art40765.html">serosorting</a></em>?<br /><br /><strong>Serosorting your <em>culo</em></strong><br />This fairly new concept is used as a guide in <em>culo</em> selection and can be influential in your decision to use a condom with your partner. Many public health professionals have described it as a form of risk reduction for both HIV + and HIV - MSM, however, there is evidence that serosorting is creating more problems then solutions. Serosorting is the process in which a person makes choices about their sex partners based on HIV status. While we may be just hearing about this term, serosorting has apparently been a common practice since the early days of HIV when negative men chose not to have sex with HIV positive partners. However, as many positive men are living longer and healtheir, many are choosing to date, develop relationships or just plain <em>fuck</em> with other men of the same serostatus.<br /><br /><strong>Serosorting & your <em>culo </em>position</strong><br />Many researchers have also observed that the practice of serosorting is influencing the position of your <em>culo.</em> Many HIV positive individuals are choosing specific roles with their sex partners based on serostatus. This <em>strategic positioning</em> means that many HIV positive men are choosing to be the bottom with their HIV negative partners.<br /><br /><strong>Recent Developments on <em>Culo</em> sorting</strong><br />The practice of serosorting can be seen in online MSM chatrooms. "Anything Goes" or "Ask me" are common in profile descriptions. You can pretty much make some generalizations that with these types of profiles, sero status is suspect at best. As we sort out the right <em>culo </em>based on this information, many HIV positive men are choosing to have unprotected sex with other HIV positive men. In addition, HIV negative men are also choosing to have unprotected sex with a presumed HIV negative partner. Recent STD survaillance data show that the rise in <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/STDFact-Syphilis.htm">Syphillis</a>, <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm">Herpes</a> and <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/stdfact-gonorrhea.htm">Gonorrhea</a> among MSM has nearly doubled and in some cases tripled, especially among Latinos and Black MSM. Furthermore, HIV positive men who are engaging in unprotected sex with other positive men are at risk for transmitting a more advanced strain of HIV, reducing or eliminating their treatment options and prognosis.<br /><br /><strong>The verdict on sorting your <em>culo</em></strong><br />Serosorting has been given some credit in the media as a way of reducing HIV transmission. However, as new data suggest this method has been used as a license for many MSM men to practice <em>culo</em> fucking without protection. Serosorting distributes the responsibility to both negative and positive men, however MSM that serosort specifically to enjoy bareback sex does not guarantee safety for either partner.<br /><br />The video below talks more about serosorting (safely) and the future of HIV prevention (3:13)<br /><br /><br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lo8EG7viDds&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lo8EG7viDds&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-45316114535093756312009-06-15T20:38:00.000-07:002009-06-15T21:38:45.163-07:00The Art of Fucking<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SjcWsUTFhDI/AAAAAAAAAFM/Lro0fVP18Zc/s1600-h/Art+of.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 270px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SjcWsUTFhDI/AAAAAAAAAFM/Lro0fVP18Zc/s400/Art+of.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347768033144570930" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >To some extent, anal sex is still taboo in our society—at least on the surface. But go to any porn tube or have a conversation with almost any guy in college, and you’ll find that both men and women are getting fucked up the butt on a regular basis. Unfortunately, the stigmas about anal sex only support really stupid myths that scare and embarrass people: the anus is dirty, it has to hurt, and anal sex is an unnatural act.</span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Bullshit.</span> <a href="http://www.chaosmen.com/video_gallery.php?video_id=973">(image source)</a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">DulceDeLeche’s post, </span><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://changingpositions.blogspot.com/2009/06/art-of-sucking.html">“The Art of Sucking”</a><span style="font-family:georgia;"> has inspired me. Through personal experience, porn, and stories from friends, I’ve learned some tips some might find useful when it comes to the art of fucking. If done correctly, anal sex can be a fun and rewarding experience. Here’s how:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >For the bottom:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Clean your butt: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> As this is probably the least sexy part of the process, I won’t go into great detail except to say that any method of clean up (douches) should occur several hours before the fucking is going to happen. Avoid enemas prior to sex as the inside of your asshole has a natural coating that can be washed away. Washing away that natural coating can contribute to discomfort during sex and increase the likelihood of irritation and pain.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Get to know your asshole: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> The first person to touch your asshole sexually should be you. First time bottoms should touch themselves and practice relaxing. If you have are familiar with the sensation, you will be less likely to tense up when a dick is near.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Relax: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> If you stick your finger in up to the first knuckle, you will feel 2 muscles. Allow me to introduce you to your sphincter muscles. One of these, the external sphincter at the entrance to your asshole, is readily controlled by you; this is the muscle you use to…wink. The internal sphincter is controlled by the nervous system which manages involuntary or automatic responses in the body; it can turn your ass into Fort Knox. With practice you can learn to control this muscle as well, which will drive the top crazy. To aid in relaxation, run a hot bath and take a seat.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Toys:</span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> Avoid hard plastic toys. The rectum angles up and forward; the softer, dick shaped toys are flexible enough to accommodate the shape of your body. The hard plastic toys are rigid and can cause injury if the toy play is too fast, hard and deep…and who doesn’t like fast, hard and deep? In search of good vibrations? Use a vibrating egg.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >For the top:</span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> For me, fucking a guy is as much about his enjoyment as it about mine. Use these tips, and your bottom will always want you on top:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Look him directly in the eye. </span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> The connection between two guys during a fuck session is undeniable. I had a friend who said he got freaked out when he looked into his partner’s eyes during sex. Don’t be afraid. Looking at your partner doesn’t mean you’re getting married (shit, you can’t anyway); it’s simply an acknowledgment that you’re sharing yourself with another person.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Feel him up: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> The key to fun and healthy anal sex is a relaxed bottom. Touching your partner’s body before and during sex is really important. It may seem obvious, but there is specific reason for this. As the inner sphincter is controlled by the nervous system, applying pressure to various parts of the body can “confuse” the mind by forcing it to switch focus from protecting the booty to responding to the new pressure. My favorite points of pressure: the toes, chest, ankles, the rib cage just below the nipple, and the back of the neck. Oh…and I can’t forget about the perineum (known on the street as the TAINT). This is the area between your ass and balls. Massaging, stroking, or simply applying pressure to this area will enhance orgasm, and help ease the way for anal sex.</span> My favorite position?<span style="font-family: georgia;"> The guy is on his back, one leg to the side, the toes of the other foot in my mouth, and my hand is on his chest.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Easy does it! </span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> Most guys can’t take a dick balls deep at the onset of the fuck session… I like to play with my partner’s butt before I stick it to him. I especially love making out while I finger his ass. The area around the asshole is rich with nerves and playing in this area will have your bottom begging to be fucked. Trace around the butt hole with your finger and watch what happens. When it comes to fucking, stick your dick past the first sphincter muscle and pull it out completely. Do this a couple of times. Stick it in once more and apply gentle pressure, but don’t push it in further until you get the okay.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Freestyle it!</span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> Once you’re in, experiment with angles and depth. Everyone experiences anal sex differently. Some people get off on the pressure—the full feeling; others love deep, prostate pounding sex. The key is to find what works for both people. Pay attention to your partner’s expressions, moans, and breathing. Make sure to change up your speed as well as the angle and positioning. Fucking in one position at the same speed can cause pain and irritation, and frankly it’s boring.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">When thinking about levels of HIV/STD risk, unprotected anal sex is at the top of the list. Most HIV infection among gay men can be linked to receptive anal sex (bottoming). The butt, with all it's comfy and warm goodness is a perfect point of entry for HIV.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">The main idea? Be attentive, be considerate, and be safe. </span>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-80452096815065621372009-06-13T21:19:00.000-07:002009-06-13T23:57:29.083-07:00Crying over spilled Milk/Bad Barebacker!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SjSA0dHTTzI/AAAAAAAAAE8/2EIrwoIcyPM/s1600-h/dustin-lance-black%5B2%5D.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 246px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SjSA0dHTTzI/AAAAAAAAAE8/2EIrwoIcyPM/s400/dustin-lance-black%5B2%5D.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347040296252428082" border="0" /></a>Sometime over the past couple of days, <a href="http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-12-oscar-winner-dustin-lance-black-exxxposed">private photos</a> of “Milk” screenwriter Dustin Lance Black were leaked on the internet. Our boy is seen getting it on with another blond who is said to have been his boyfriend at the time. In the naughty 3 year old pictures, we can see that Dustin's statue (I couldn't help it) is angled upward (perfect to tap the prostate) and capped with a mushroom head. The pics show Mr. Black leaning over his partner to slob his knob and then laying on his back – giving us the perfect shot of a very bare dick entering his booty. <a href="http://www.ireadbuzz.com/2009/05/dustin-lance-black-to-direct-first-film.html">(image source)</a><br /><br />A lot has been said by bloggers and readers about whether it’s appropriate or fair to post photos & videos of these very private moments. As an admitted voyeur, I have to say that my curiosity got the best of me. While I do feel a little bad if DLB is embarrassed, anyone who records their most private moments has to know that there is a risk of these moments being revealed to the world – whether you’re famous or not.<br /><br />Why is this “scandal” relevant to Changing Positions? It's the whole equal-opportunity-first-famous-gay-sex-tape/pictures-fucked-bareback-thing.<br /><br />My response to the pictures was: “ooh the Milk guy is nekkid…wow…he’s got a fat dick! He’s a bottom – I knew that. They are not using condoms, I wonder how long they went out.” On <a href="http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-12-oscar-winner-dustin-lance-black-exxxposed">PerezHilton.com</a>, the responses vary from “That’s gross!” to “We all knew he was gay, now we know he’s hot too” as well as a sprinkling of folks waxing poetic on the dangers of videotaping sex. The responses on <a href="http://www.queerclick.com/archive/2009/06/milk_screenwriter_dustin_lance_black_sex.php">Queerclick.com</a>, which has a decidedly more gay (gayer?) readership than Perez Hilton (seriously), focused more on the fact that condoms were not used. I was somewhat taken aback by the QC responses; I guess because in my experience, people talk about using condoms more than they actually use them. I was also a bit offended that folks attacked Mr. Black, suggesting that he tarnished his image as a role model.<br /><br />Possibly driven by the “outrage” about his bareback pictures, Mr. Black released a statement to <a href="http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/marc_malkin/b129113_milk_writer_private_photo_drama_on.html">eonline’s Marc Malkin</a> on Friday:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"I have had the privilege to speak to people across the country, both gay and straight, on a number of critical issues including safe sex. More important than the embarrassment of this incident is the misleading message these images send. I apologize and cannot emphasize enough the importance of responsible sexual practices."</span><br /><br />As a blogger on Changing Positions, I’m a bit conflicted by the QC responses. On one hand, I think it’s great that folks are conscious about the risks associated with unprotected sex. On the other hand, the responses seemed to be knee jerk…as if folks have been programmed to say “shame on you!...bad barebacker!!” which I don’t think is realistic or does us any good. Without proper context, we don’t know how Lance and his partner came to the decision to not use condoms and I’m not comfortable judging them for their behavior.<br /><br />IMHO, the purpose of sex, STD, and HIV education is to provide individuals with the information they need to make healthy, conscious decisions. The goal is not to paint people into a corner and tell them what they can and cannot do. If we could force people to use condoms there would be no purpose for this blog…<br /><br />Who and how we fuck does not define us.<br /><br />A short interview with DLB:<br /><br /><center><object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jXakhU3WzpM&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jXakhU3WzpM&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="340" width="560"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-68398432768971840282009-06-11T08:11:00.000-07:002009-06-12T09:48:27.647-07:00The Art of Sucking<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivCf5DqFP9vU0QUVDEJvxhVV07Sc4f11sQwGb4bJRJ8dX91RPY894p91_WWDQnRQuhjmAvDVSu4n8d0r6jnOSY2Oo15QmcL7TvCWK2V-wdVtRIB-JjVpVnTjMlpXNcgHXncVlM7O9C2EdT/s1600-h/9163061_fe9051ebc6.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5346089882781561250" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 264px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivCf5DqFP9vU0QUVDEJvxhVV07Sc4f11sQwGb4bJRJ8dX91RPY894p91_WWDQnRQuhjmAvDVSu4n8d0r6jnOSY2Oo15QmcL7TvCWK2V-wdVtRIB-JjVpVnTjMlpXNcgHXncVlM7O9C2EdT/s320/9163061_fe9051ebc6.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><p>Felatio, blow job, going down, sucking, or giving head, whatever term you use, the art of sucking dick is easy to master....<em>trust me!</em> With a little bit of trust, knowledge and practice... and the 3rd step <em>IS</em> crucial...becasue practice makes perfect, you will be on your way to an MSD (<em>Master of Sucking Dick</em>) <em><strong><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/womanofscorn/9163061/"><span style="color:#999999;">image source</span></a></strong></em></p><p>It would appear that giving head requires no skill. One would think all it takes is to unzip the pants, put the dick in your mouth and start sucking like there's no tomorrow. Spit on it, get it hard, wet and do some deep throat action in between. And, there are social messages about giving head to suggest that guys <em>LOVE</em> it so much, they don't care about technique. In reality, knowing how to read your partner(s), what to do to him and when to do it makes all the difference. Remember, sucking dick can be fast and dirty, or slow and seductive. Here are a few tips (<em>from personal extensive research</em>) to get you and him going:</p><p>1. Get Him Clean!</p><p>If you are new to sucking dick, the taste, smell (or <em>SIZE</em>) may be worrisome. Men can have a strong scent, especially after a hard workout, so if possible, suggest a sexy shower together, or add a little bit of flavor by spreading sum personal flavored lubricant (<em>my favorite is grape!)</em></p><p>2. Get comfortable!</p><p>You don't know how long you're going to be working on that bad puppy or how long you're going to be on your knees and sucking dick can put a strain on your neck and jaw (<em>believe me!)</em> So, if he's standing up, gently get him to relax on his back while you get to work!</p><p>3. Tease with touch!</p><p>While your mouth may be busy on his<em> jong</em>, don't forget about the rest of the package! Use your hands to caress his balls, thighs, ass and chest. Make eye contact and be aware of his verbal and facial reactions. </p><p>4. Lick before you slurp!</p><p>Get a taste of the head of his dick (<em>it's the most sensitve part</em>) use your tongue to play with his nut sack, roll it around your lips and tongue, use a lot of saliva and watch him melt in your mouth!</p><p>5. Put it in your mouth!</p><p>Wrap your juicy lips on his dick. Gently slide down his shaft (<em>make sure your lips cover your teeth!) </em>Begin a wet up and down sucking motion using your tongue, lips, saliva. Make sure your tongue is flat for nice wide and wet strokes! Watch out for the gag reflexes! Keep focused and stay with it for a while for maximum consistent pleasure before changing to another position. </p><p>To swallow or not to swallow. The decision is completely yours, however, make sure to tell your partner if you are not comfortable with it. Ask him to tell you when he's about to cum, this way you can continue to give him a hand job or lick his balls as he is cuming. </p><p>Oral sex is NOT risk free. Many men choose so suck dick without a condom and measuring the exact risk of HIV transmisstion from oral sex is difficult. For more information, check out this <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/pdf/oralsex.pdf">site</a> for risks associated to oral sex. </p><p>Enjoy the sucking! (<em>i know i do!)</em></p><p></p><p></p>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-89839002595789701792009-06-04T06:50:00.000-07:002009-06-05T06:31:45.787-07:00What's Risk to You?<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343496235678398386" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 213px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlkX2U-dcOHf-YKWm-D9ISTb7L0qi2uSjACPCnP82O62e_foIRsq8zqxwF6SpEQ1pGtszRv0TmlQL05WJT_hkh40hDWEcpVCCdA8WmCLMLLUHxB2EcWatEClzXAWm7H0n4DPigYhRz0MTj/s320/2686452199_4a9d212c94.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>What is Risk? This is a tough question because we all have a our definition of sexual risk. The answers can be as varied as the "sticky" encounters we somtimes find ourselves in. There's no doubt in my mind that sex should and needs to be fun, smart and pleasurable. But our desires and sexual urges can often blur our perception of risk. (<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/steevil/2686452199/"><span style="color:#999999;"><strong>image source</strong></span></a>)</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Since the emergence of HIV/AIDS, our community has been saturated with prevention messages. Community based organizations mushroomed across our country and many fallen hero's of the early days of HIV/AIDS fought the status quo to secure many of the services we now have.<br /><br />So why do MSM Black and Latino men continue to be one of the highest risk groups across the nation? Because there is no one antidote on effective behavior change. <em>That's no surprise</em>! As a community we have been always told of what <em>NOT</em> to do and who <em>NOT</em> to do it with. However, i wonder if we have become complacent with the fact that we do live in a time of AIDS. I sometimes look at those magazines illustrating a man climbing a mountain or sunbathting at the beach with a huge smile and telling us everthing will be O.K. with a once daily anti-retroviral therapy. I sometimes think that it is these types of advertisements that feeds to an impressionable 16yo that hey, if i'm putting myself at risk, it's OK because there are medications i can take just once a day.<br /><br />So what's risk to you? Are they the subliminal messages in the media? Or are they more <em>real</em>?<br />Well, if you're like many other MSM men, then they often are.<br /><br />Suppose you find yourself in this situation:<br />Your online, horny and looking for action NOW. You have all the right pictures posted and they are ready to be viewed. You start up a chat with "BigTool4You". Your not there to make friends, so, after 3-4 messages you agree to hook up. You go all the way across town and you start to get busy, dick is hard and ready to do the deed. You realize you both dont' have any condoms. (<em>at least there's lube ! thank god!) </em>So you decide to:<br /><br />a) Let him just slip the head in and pull out before cumming<br />b) Decide to be the top if your going to fuck raw ( you may rationalize that it will put you <em>less</em> at risk being the top)<br />or<br />C) ??? <em>(what's your risk?)</em></div>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-66927319605194343302009-05-30T14:12:00.000-07:002009-05-30T17:07:21.709-07:00Where are your Goats?"Traditional marriage" advocates take what they want from the bible and leave the rest. There are countless rules about what needs to happen before two people can get married. These rules were created a long time ago, and are based on what our society knew and believed at the time. As civilization has evolved, so to have those rules (except for the gay part). Traditional marriage in its current incarnation does not resemble marriages from even 50 years ago...and for good reason. Times have changed. We know more. It's 2009...and the fact that gay marriage is still up for discussion is profound.<br /><br />So what does this have to do with RISK? (god that word is really starting to tear on me!). I'll tell you: Our straight counterparts live in a world that provides them with a range of models for relationships. True, these models don't always work...they're never perfect, but they exist. My straight friends grew up watching straight couples in their families, in public, and in the media. They received cues on how to start and maintain relationships. They learn what works and what didn't work by watching others. As their relationships were deemed normal, they could seek advice from nearly any elder. To be very clear, I would not suggest that they had every thing they needed to make their relationships work, but they could engage in trial an error without being ashamed.<br /><br />Me and my gay friends on the other hand, have been forced to learn about our relationships through other, less varied and effective means. I came out at age 15 and witnessed my peers "learning" from 35/40 year olds who had just come out themselves. We learned from each other. We learned that gay relationships don't last. We figured our relationships don't benefit from the "traditional" conclusion that marriage provides, so what the fuck is the point?<br /><br />We created our own paradigm--which has had it's benefits and it's drawbacks. On the benefits side, I think GLBT folk are forced to be more realistic about coupling, desire, and relationships than our straight counterparts. As the rules of "traditional relationships" don't apply to us, we've had to create our own. I think in some ways we are more equipped to acknowledge realistically the need for variety. The notion that 2 people meet and partner for life is not as rigid for us--for better or worse. On the fucked up side, there are GLBT folk who don't believe that their relationships - in whatever form they take - are as valid as that of our straight counterparts. Our trial and error period often comes without support, and can lead to dangerous consequences. Sharing one's body, particularly among men, is a literal substitute for love. When I talk with my straight friends, I'm shocked they don't use condoms consistently, and they're shocked that I don't think one night stands or anonymous sex are odd. Somehow, in our world, having sex with numerous casual partners, sharing fluids and not much else is normal. Wow.<br /><br />This blog was inspired by filmmaker <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/KeithHartman1">Keith Hartman</a>'s "The License", a short film which puts it's foot in the ass of the "traditional marriage" argument. I think you'll like it:<br /><br /><div id="refHTML"></div><br /><center><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ntC0PNHFRgU&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ntC0PNHFRgU&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></center><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-90806195640774885812009-05-29T14:47:00.000-07:002009-05-29T17:49:05.252-07:00She wanted to leave a note for the President<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/28/brenda-lee-reporter-dragg_n_208772.html"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 511px; height: 373px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SiBtAKUXitI/AAAAAAAAAE0/khRE7AfhAms/s400/Brenda+Lee.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341389007598619346" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />According to the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/28/brenda-lee-reporter-dragg_n_208772.html">Huffington Post</a>, Brenda Lee, a self proclaimed Roman Catholic Priestess and a writer for a small Georgia monthly newspaper, was trying to see President Obama so that she could leave him a note...urging him to take a stand against gay marriage.<br /><br />People like Ms. Lee make it their purpose in life to ensure the continued marginalization of GLBT folks. Their hatred and ignorance help to create a dynamic where people in our community have to exist in the shadows. To get to my point, I think the practice of meeting people in parks and online came about out of neccessity and continues as a norm...and for some a fetish. I submit that if gay men lived in a world that accepted us, the number of people who engaged in hook up and casual sex would be substantially smaller.<br /><br />She was tossed out on her crazy tic, tic, boom ass.<br /><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-15365720828260526752009-05-29T13:50:00.000-07:002009-05-29T13:56:21.142-07:00Knowing is Clearly Not Enough.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SiBLUhjD7RI/AAAAAAAAAEs/DLIQPPxplsg/s1600-h/knowledgeispowerlicenseplateweb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 203px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/SiBLUhjD7RI/AAAAAAAAAEs/DLIQPPxplsg/s400/knowledgeispowerlicenseplateweb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341351974036303122" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Posting to “Changing Positions” has been somewhat of a challenge for me. I really try to think about the best way to strike a balance between celebrating sex and desire, and talking about the very real risk that can be associated with sex. Talking about risk is not sexy…bottom line. It pisses me off that something so beautiful and natural can also be seen as “risky”.<br /></span><br />Having said that, this week I’ve been thinking about the logic of risk. Anyone who has been awake at any point in the past 25+ years knows how HIV is transmitted. When we try to understand infection rates that have increased or at the very least remained consistent, we can rule out whether or not people understand the disease. Save for the occasional dip shit who bleeds my ear at a party trying to convince me that HIV doesn’t exist, everyone pretty much gets it.<br /><br />So it’s clear that it’s not about knowing…or understanding. Knowing all the facts does not result in healthier behaviors. So what is it about? What cancels out what we know?<br /><br />This is what I came up with. The top ten reasons I think some of us don’t consistently use condoms:<br /><br /><ol><li>It really feels good;</li><li>The risks don’t scare me;</li><li>I feel more connected to my partner ;</li><li>He doesn’t use them, demanding condoms would kill the mood;</li><li>I’m lonely…I’ll take whatever I can get;</li><li>I’m eventually going to get infected anyway;</li><li>The breeding boys seem to be having so much fun;</li><li>He’s my life partner, we trust each other;</li><li>It doesn’t feel the same with condoms;</li><li>I was high;</li></ol><br />On paper, it seems really simple. Choose your partners wisely; always use condoms, blah, blah, blah. But life is not simple. And knowing is not enough.<br /><br />Is there something missing from this list? I didn’t place it in any specific order, but you can. Just copy and paste the list in the correct order according to you. Or tell me I’m full of shit.<br /></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-36991948998222051252009-05-27T07:44:00.000-07:002009-05-28T08:06:58.503-07:00Love in the time of AIDS<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_KAIqXYkeXcZuFi0wm9o3Jy3DLVfxMbLmdrsTDJ9-KpYzeZaw64v8Ombwyl4_zlj9EYVUdyywjk_xh3BWs8izSyW_I8eFVwj0gloFkoBuJpugndo630awhyiQG9H6kDdgHWOm0WLBqFaz/s1600-h/2504819598_63e4be7796_m.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340605441563515970" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 160px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_KAIqXYkeXcZuFi0wm9o3Jy3DLVfxMbLmdrsTDJ9-KpYzeZaw64v8Ombwyl4_zlj9EYVUdyywjk_xh3BWs8izSyW_I8eFVwj0gloFkoBuJpugndo630awhyiQG9H6kDdgHWOm0WLBqFaz/s320/2504819598_63e4be7796_m.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><em>"I'm HIV positive."</em> I was 15 years old, living in San Francisco and madly in love when I first heard these words spill from the lips of the man i was completely infatuated with. It was also my first experience of love in the time of AIDS. <span style="color:#666666;">(</span><a href="http://www.flickr.com/"><span style="color:#666666;">image source)</span></a><span style="color:#999999;"><br /><em></em></span><br />We met on the corner of Market and Castro street. I was being loud and abnoxious, he was calm, cool and collected. His kisses tasted like watermelon Now&Laters. He held my hands with tenderness and looked into my eyes as if he already understood who i was, where i came from and where i would go. His hugs surrounded my body, aching for the affection i couldn't find at home. His words penetrated through the walls i had already begun to build to avoid being hurt.<br /><br />To show how much i loved him, i did the only thing I thought would equally demonstrate how much i cared for him...i tried to have sex with him. When he wouldn't respond back to my sexual overtures i would feel betrayed, hurt and unattractive. So, i made up my mind, that the next time i saw him, i would just ask him why he wouldn't sleep with me, didn't he find me sexually attractive? Were his kisses and words a sham?, an evil joke to see how far you can string along an impressionable 15 year old?<br /><br />Perhaps he realized my impatience, or perhaps he just thought the moment was right, but on that spring day of 1993, as we relaxed in the park laying next to each other, looking up at the sky, i asked the question he was dreading and i so anxiously wanted answered..."<em>why don't you want to sleep with me?"</em><br /><br />It was almost surreal and I hated myself for having been so self centered. My ego wouldn't allow me to consider that perhaps it <em>wasn't about me,</em> and until that exact moment, HIV had always been something foreign. An so he told me...in between explaining how it wasn't me and how much he cared about <em>us</em>...all i heard was "I'm HIV positive." It was almost as if <em>I </em>had been diagnosed and a long, uncomfortable silence fell between us. As he searched for a response from me, he reached out to grab my hand as he always did, except this time i found myself jerking it away...it was the most poignant moment of our relationship and my silence was piercing with judgement. I turned to look at him, he didn't rush me, but continued looking at me as he had on that first meeting, and now...i had a choice to make, should i stay with him or walk out.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thebody.com/content/art32643.html">To disclose or not</a>, that is the question many with HIV must contend with. And if you do, how do you do it? When is it the right time? I don't know the answers to these questions, except that it's an individual and deeply personal choice. I wonder, if i had been better informed, would i have reacted diffrently? Could I ever be as couragous?...I don't know. What i do know, is that eash one of us is entitled to a loving, passionate and satisfying sex life. And, since that Spring day in 1993, many close to me have demonstrated the same courage. Some have been close friends, and some have been men i've fallen for, and all, i have loved in the time of AIDS.</div></div>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-68150954745693193042009-05-27T05:26:00.000-07:002009-05-27T07:15:29.996-07:00"Man Love"Sometimes I think men get the short end of the stick. Per society, men have to protect their families, earn a living, stay monogamous and stay strong--all the time. Men who are emotionally present; men who freely show their emotions are viewed as less male. Emotion is part of being human but it's unofficially off limits to us. Which is why it's funny to me, when I hear the standard complaints about men: "He never talks about his feelings" or "He can't commit" or...and I love this one: "He thinks with his dick."<br /><br />This is not the only time our society creates rules about a certain group and then marginalizes them for the behavior that those rules create:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Rule:</span> Men should not have sex with men<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Behavior:</span> Men, needing to have sex with each other meet in parks, via personal ads and online. The concept of sex with a stranger is fetishized.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Judgement:</span> Men who meet for casual sex are reckless, promiscuous, and dishonest. They're only concerned with sexual fulfillment.<br /><br />The suggestion that men don't care and that the sex is meaningless is a crock of shit. Men do care. We do love. Maybe it doesn't look the way people expect. I believe nearly everything men do is about love...love of another or in the pursuit of love.<br /><br />Man love came to mind after watching a YouTube video featuring Keller & Beecher from HBO's "Oz" The video is among several clips on YouTube which feature the characters showing the best and worst of their relationship set to everything from country music to R&B. Take a look<br /><br /><center><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eShlgMVgTHs&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eShlgMVgTHs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-49530333397709497082009-05-22T07:55:00.000-07:002009-05-22T09:00:27.012-07:00Going deep…with momLast night I was debating whether to write about this particular subject. I was thinking that it didn’t have anything to do about sex, however, after sleeping on it i realized it was about sex and about mental health, emotional health and....family, and that's what’s so great about “Changing Positions” it transcends the status quo.<br /><br />While sex can be a component of our lives, it’s only just that…a component. As gay men, we have the ability to form extended interdependent relationships, although i strongly believe this happens due to our sometimes dysfunctional bond with our siblings and parents. So why am i saying all this? Well, often it’s our relationships and experience with our folks that influence our future attitudes about sex and relationships.<br /><br />So, the other day, I went there, after 30years I was going deep with mom. The emotions were <em>raw,</em> <em>real</em> and <em>vengeful</em>. I had not spoken to my mom in several years, no mother’s day call, no wishing her a happy birthday, <em>nada</em>. I realize this is not the healthiest relationship and I always get annoyed when my other gay friends or complete strangers tell me to “forgive and forget”. But that’s just it, I don’t want to forget and... I’m definitely not ready to forgive. Like many other gay men and their mothers, I have a complicated relationship with her and her verbal and emotional abuse impacted how as an adult I look at relationships with men and by extension, sex.<br /><br />For a long time I thought it <em>was </em>ok to be mistreated by other men, that love between men didn’t exist and….<em>she was right</em>. She was right because like many other gay men in my position, we allowed the woman who brought us to this world to be right. And so, I walked the streets, looking for that quick fix of tenderness, it didn’t matter that it was happening in the back seat of a car, or in some remote bathroom stall. It didn’t matter that every attempt at a relationship I ruined, fulfilling a prophecy from my mother. It didn’t matter that I dropped out of high school or that i drowned myself in booze and artificial companionship. I hated the fact i was gay and wished so much to by like my younger brothers.....a delinquent womanizer, at least then i'd have the support of my family.<br /><br />And so, I went there and I went all the way without pulling out. It was <em>fast,</em> <em>hard,</em> <em>raw</em> and ohhhh soooo deep...in emotions. I told my mom of my anger, frustration, disappointments and resentment. (<em>i have to admit, it felt good and strangely therapeutic)</em> Of course, like any other gay man, I have a flare for theatrics, so I decided to tell her all this on Mother’s Day just to raise the drama level. Luckily she didn’t’ answer the phone, which I was praying would happen…(<em>yes, I’m a coward, but would you have the balls to go deep with your mom?)</em> I left a message, explaining, just as i had practiced a million times of why i had given her the cold shoulder for the past several years....and the strangest thing happened, she called back….and what do you think <em>that bitch</em> said to me?! So i ask you....how would your folks have responded? As for me, her response was...unexpected.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4tI6xrA9T64&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4tI6xrA9T64&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>DulceDeLechehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18230584579735052392noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-40827997109604337762009-05-21T14:15:00.001-07:002009-05-27T05:26:35.537-07:00A Boy’s Raw Urge for…Affection?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/ShXRHUko7UI/AAAAAAAAAEk/eEvuYtDsHzs/s1600-h/Hugging.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 377px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4LrXgchYnrU/ShXRHUko7UI/AAAAAAAAAEk/eEvuYtDsHzs/s400/Hugging.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338402857029266754" border="0" /></a><br /><span xmlns=""><p><span style="font-family:Tw Cen MT;"><br /> </span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tw Cen MT;font-size:130%;" >How many times have you felt the urge…the yearning for something…but you didn't quite know what that thing was? For me, the immediate response to this non-identified yearning is to smoke a cigarette, watch some porn, look in my refrigerator, or go online.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tw Cen MT;font-size:130%;" >On two occasions, I met up with really sexy guys and we wound up talking. Talking! The whole time! It just kinda happened. Guy # 1 came by and we did the requisite shit talk, cut to 3 hours later and we're still chatting away. He was hot enough, but sex never came up. Seriously! Who knew? I assumed it was a fluke until it happened again. It happened the same way…we just kept talking.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tw Cen MT;font-size:130%;" >I didn't give much thought about it at the time, but in retrospect I think I wasn't looking for anything but someone to talk to. Some affection…some sugar—someone I didn't know who for a brief moment, seemed to care. Then I began to think back to all those other times where me and my buddies would just go at it on sight. No chit chat…just "I want to…and you want to, so let's go!" There must have been times when I sought out sex when sex wasn't what I needed. If people can try to eat their troubles away, then we can certainly try to fuck our troubles away as well.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tw Cen MT;font-size:130%;" >So I have some questions:<br /></span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tw Cen MT;font-size:130%;" >Have you ever used sex to fulfill a non sexual urge, and if so, what are you trying to fuck away?<br /></span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tw Cen MT;font-size:12;" ><span style="font-size:130%;">Have you ever wound up chatting with fuck buddy? What did you talk about?</span><br /></span></p></span><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Lenierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02060340103489812063noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-41807557467743679882009-05-18T11:22:00.000-07:002009-05-18T23:52:18.893-07:00Welcome from DulceDeLecheWelcome to “changing positions” your online source to uncensored chat about hooking up, dating, and health. As a single Latino man living in NYC, my online and off-line dating, like many, have been disappointment after disappointment.<br /><br />For a while I just gave up and decided that with a full time job and going to school full time, who has anytime to date anyway? On the occasions that I do go to a bar, I get drunk, talk smack about other people with my friends, maybe dance a little, head home (alone) and wake up regretting I didn’t give my number to the hot guy at the bar who tried to talk to me but I was so caught up in my own world I didn’t pay any attention. Sometimes I wonder, why even try at all? When I could have just stayed home, turn on my monitor and let my fingers do all the talking and flirting with “bigdickjock” or “latinlover9”.<br /><br />After some NSA fun, I’d crawl back in my bed and consider it a successful night. Of course, the next day I’d brag to my best friend how this amazing guy came over and in detail describe all his ASSets. Tall, dark, handsome, 28yo, smooth, caramel skin, big arms, strong hands, cesar hair cut, masculine, deep voice and the most beautiful COCK I’ve ever seen, like it was made just for me and to fulfill all my pleasures. I'd go on and describe how he manhandled me and we fucked on my couch, kitchen, hallway, standing up, sitting down and sideways.<br /><br />But I know I need more than a “latinlover9” or “bigdickjock”… I need a place in which I can obtain information about health and dating in an anonymous way from the comfort of my own home. I figure, if I can hook up on-line I should just as easily be able to hook up with information if I need it, nothing with the medical jargon, but the HARD, RAW facts about fucking, sucking and everything in between. I hope this blog will achieve that, a dialog about sex, keeping our community informed and safe.<br /><br />No matter what your HIV status, or sexual preference, I hope you’ll join me in this journey by posting your comments, opinions and resources in keeping our beautiful and diverse community engaged, because nothing’s hotter than Changing Positions while doing the deed.Harlem Unitedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00633809970774713363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7103130853312194605.post-317566045839980012009-05-15T13:21:00.000-07:002009-05-18T13:24:49.597-07:00What brought me here? Intro…I really, really, love men. From masculine muscle boys to slender twinks; from the Chelsea boy to the Black and Latino bros uptown, I can always find something I like online. Meeting boys online has been convenient, fun, and surprisingly, there have been times when I’ve learned something about myself.<br /><br />That’s not to say that hooking up doesn’t have its…um…hang-ups. There was that time I made plans with the 25 year old hottie from Brooklyn, only to discover that he’s a 32 year old using a 7 year old picture from when he was 50 pounds lighter. Then there was the guy who climbed on top of me and proceeded to scream bloody murder “oh, oh, oh my god…fuck me!”—I couldn’t feel a thing; his butt had seen better days and he was acting. Then there was the ad someone placed that said “Flood my hole!” What the fuck? Really? In those situations, I find myself wondering about what people are thinking when they place a hookup ad online.<br /><br />Did Al (fake name) think I wouldn’t notice he’d used an old picture? Did Stan (again, fake name) think that I wouldn’t notice his hole was so wide I could’ve jumped in and he wouldn’t feel it? What were these guys thinking? What are any of us thinking?<br /><br />These are things that I think about sometimes before, during, or after a hook up…whether it was hot or not. Obviously, these are not questions I’m going to raise right before I drive my tongue up some boy’s butt…and frankly, my friends, like many other gay men, are not keen about talking about fucking when they are not…fucking. Perhaps it’s too embarrassing. Perhaps we don’t have the language to talk about desire.<br /><br />That’s why I jumped at the chance to participate in this project. This blog will give me the opportunity to explore the questions I have about why we do the things we do and to hear from other men about what drives them. You’ll find that I am not shy about telling it like it is, and I don’t judge. I’m curious about the point where desire meets action and behavior. I don’t have all the answers, but I know where to find them. It’s time to get frank about dick. I hope you will join me.Harlem Unitedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00633809970774713363noreply@blogger.com0