Jul 23, 2009 / Labels:

Getting Down...Anilingus-Style


Salad tossing, rimming, butt licking, rim-job or eating ass...getting down anilingus style involves licking, penetrating with the tongue, sucking, kissing, or otherwise stimulating your partner's ass.

Our bodies are full of pleasure potential and even seemingly unlikely body parts can be intense pleasure centers when fully aroused. While sometimes a precursor to butt fucking, rimming is a form of stimulation that can be it's own means to an erotic end. Pleasure for the reciever comes from the sensitive nerve endings around the ass, pleasure for the giver comes from watching your parner squirm and moan as you spread open his ass cheeks and dig in for an all you can eat buffet.
Mutual ass eating can be achieved by the 69 position, however, i find it much more pleasurable to straddle your partner's face with your ass, body facing his legs (just like in the pic) for full butt hole access. In this position, you can lean forward to rim or suck your partners cock, and as you bounce up and down his face, make sure to sit up and be able to support your own weight, or else you may be giving your man too much of a good thing and sufficate him in ass! (how would you explain that to the paramedics!)
The best thing to do, if you want to suck on your partners cock while you get rimmed, is to have him use his legs to lift your hips upward and this should bring his crotch close enough to your mouth to suck on. Another good position for rimming is to get on all fours or flat on your stomach with legs spread eagle, then your partner can really go to town on you! Or try getting rimmed with your legs spread and bent over a table or desk (also try one leg up on the table!) , with the rimmer sitting at the edge of a chair....now that's HOT!!!
If your going to be doing the rimming, spread your partners butt cheeks apart, push deep with your tongue and make it wet! When rimming a guy, gently play with his ass cheeks, squeeze them with your hands and feel their texture....you may even want to give them a nice gentle slap!
An interesting and fun experience for your partner may be to get "hummed". "Humming" is pushing your face into his ass, with your tongue probing his hole, and then moaning/humming out loud! For the person getting "hummed", it's an experience you'll never forget....trust me!
So, whether you decided to get rimmed or do the rimming...to gain back door access, all you have to do is find a way!
Enjoy! =)



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Jul 17, 2009 / Labels:

Leather Org Cums in the Eye of Bareback Porn

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Jul 9, 2009 / Labels:

Let's CUT to it!



The other day, some friends and I were talking about dick (no surprise there!) and as my Cosmo did it's magic, i moved beyond talking about our experience with the small vs big dick talk and how we like to take it or for sum of us...give it and I asked if they were cut or uncut, and a long silence fell among us. I knew it was an extremely personal question, but hey...we were already talking about how we like to get fucked, so why not? Before they answered, I upgraded our drinks to Martinis to loosen the awkwardness and cut to the chase. (image source)

Several months ago, a friend of mine was telling me about his recent circumcision. I've never seen him so happy and proud...as if he had finally joined the club. He had taken pictures of his dick and showing it off to me...however, before he told me it was his dick pic, all he said was "look at this". I have to admit...it was soooo pretty and i was like "Who is THAT!". After he told me it was him...i blushed, wiped the drool from my mouth and i saw him in a whole new light and was immediately attracted to it...i mean him. And so, that's when i had a reality check....am I a dick cutting lover??? I always considered myself an equal opportuniy cock sucker...however, my newly circumcised friend reminded me that while I like to think i'm an equal opportunity slurp machine, he could recount the stories of how i would NOT suck an uncircumcised dick...including his!

The "hood", "cap", whatever you call it, boys are born with foreskin, covering the head of the dick. Deciding to circumcise is one of the biggest decisions our parents make and has a lasting impact as we go through adolescence and adulthood. But is it necessary to be circumcised? Some of us don't have the choice, as my friend did, and it's reported that about 65% of boys born in the US are circumcised. The procedure drops to less than half in boys born in Europe, South America, Central Ameria and Asia. The decsion to circumcise is usually fueled by cultural, social, or religious beliefs, including concerns about hygiene.

So what do the doctor's say about circumcision?

The Pros:

1) You are less likely to develope a urinary tract infection

2) Risk of penile cancer is greatly reduced

3) Less chance of irritation, inflamation and infection

4) Easier to keep clean

5) Evidence that it may offer an additional line of defense against STD's including HIV

The Cons:

1) Lost of sensation in the head of the dick, decreasing sexual pleasure

2) Painful

(DO WE NEED ANYMORE?)

Many men, who often undergo the procedure as adults tend to regret it, claiming the difference in their sexual pleasure is like going from wearing a condom to wearing a glove. My friend who was recently circumcised did share he has noticed the difference, however, he also shared that he no longer feels embarrassed to walk around naked in the showers and feeling different from the other guys who were cut. As for my other friends whom i was having drinks with....well, lets just say there are no more secrets between us and that's the uncut truth!

While there are many claims that circumcision reduces the risk of HIV transmission, many other studies have found.."no significant effect of circumcision status and HIV acquisition" so, whether you are cut or uncut...best to put on that rubber on that bad puppy. Now, i'm going to hunt me an uncut dick and play with it...hood and all!

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Jul 8, 2009 / Labels:

FUK!T Honey - Can we see past the sexy?

My last post about our Man-Find campaign got me to thinking about the development of HIV prevention media campaigns and how they've changed over the years. Before the brainchild that was George W. Bush, there were actually a number of community-based orgs that developed really sexy, provocative ads designed to entice and educate.

A D.C. based work group, responding to the alarming rates of HIV among gay and bisexual men in Washington launched a really sexy ad campaign and materials as part of their first project. The ad campaign features a diverse set of models--nude and clothed--wearing condoms, holding condoms...just being downright sexy. My first response is that it's about time; finally...a really sexy condom campaign. (image source)

My second response: Can we see past the sexy? As an admitted horn dog, I acknowledge what happens to me when I see a nice round ass or a hard dick. I have to admit that ads that feature naked men will almost certainly get my attention.

But is that enough? What happens after we get past the sexy? Will these ads serve their intended purpose? What do you think? What makes a condom ad effective?

Here's some video from the FUK!T launch:



Visit Queerclick for the sexy uncensored images.

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Jul 7, 2009 / Labels:

Changing Positions – Title Track

For over 20 years, community-based organizations and other public health educators have developed and employed messages aimed at reducing HIV infection among the groups they target. While the messages—in the form of posters, buttons, and printed material—may be different based on the target group, all of these messages have one thing in common. Providers have historically refrained from using language that may suggest to people that they are being judged or told what to do. HIV pre & post test counselors and others are trained to avoid words or phrases such as: “you should do this” or “don’t do that”. The logic here is that individuals may find this language off-putting, and may be reluctant to seek help in the future. There is truth to this logic – most people do not like being told what to do and will shut down if they feel judged.

As such, community based organizations and other public health officials put great effort into developing messages and campaigns aimed at fighting HIV transmission. Providers conduct research, collect data from their own day to day work and partner with social marketing experts to craft messages that will have the greatest impact with the largest group of people.

HIV Prevention messages have evolved a lot over the past 29 years. In the early 80’s service providers and public health educators focused on condom use. It was a period some called “Condom Education”. It was logical…it made sense…put a condom on and you’ll be safe:


We moved from there to the sex positive 90’s. The notion of talking about sex began to make more sense. It was no longer sufficient to simply hand someone a condom and hope they would know why it was important to use it. Folks who decided they were ready to use condoms lacked the language to negotiate condom use with their partners. Enter community based organizations with a revised message and new sex positive language. Providers began talking about sex in real ways…and so did entertainers:



The evolution continued with the incorporation of “risk reduction” messages. At the time, the logic was to take an honest look at what people were doing…what they were willing to do with respect to using condoms. There was an acknowledgement that some people refused to use condoms so providers sought to educate them on ways they can continue their activities but in a safer way: You don’t like using condoms? Well, you can reduce your risk by not cumming inside of your partner, engaging in mutual masturbation, oral sex instead of anal, or anal sex with one partner with whom you in are in a committed relationship.

The arrival of OraSure and the OraQuick rapid testing technology brought us into the new millennium with a renewed focus on HIV testing and linkage to care. In the face of increasing rates of HIV infection among gay men, particularly young people and men of color, providers sought to advance HIV prevention by switching focus from HIV negative people to identifying, diagnosing, and providing care for HIV positive individuals. As such, the messages were no longer about condoms. Instead, we heard about how, when, and why we should get tested.


For me, Changing Positions represents an effort to incorporate all that we’ve learned about HIV, sex, and human nature to communicate—in an honest and frank manner—the realities of HIV transmission. The position that is being changed is that notion that providers censor themselves for fear that people may not want to hear the truth. The bottom line is that if you fuck lots of people without condoms you are placing yourself at risk for HIV and STD infection. I could put sugar on that…but it’s an undeniable fact. The more you do it, the more your level of risk increases. Obviously, that it’s a fact is not enough to make folks change their behavior, so we also want to talk about the struggles. If you’re not using condoms, why? If you are, how? If you’re a bareback loving cum dumpster, let us know what’s on your mind.


Take a look at the posters that were developed for the Man-Find campaign by visiting Man-Find.com and clicking the "free downloads" link.



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Jul 6, 2009 / Labels:

Trans-Phobia


The news of another vicious attack on a transgender woman durring the peak of Pride month once again re-inforced in me the challenges ahead of us. (image source)

As i walked the Pride parade route down 5th avenue, I couldn't help but think of our transgender brothers and sisters who were not there to march with us. While there were times when I just wanted to stop walking, i began to think about Leslie Mora, a beautiful transgender woman brutally attacked on June 19th by two men who beat her with a belt as her assailants called her faggot in Spanish. The attack left Leslie with multiple injuries and she was found nearly naked and bleeding on the sidewalk. I was disgusted by the news and my Pride festivities were marred by the brutality of this hate crime.

Hate crimes against the transgender community continue at an alarming rate. Even within our own LGBT community, transgender people are perhaps the least understood. Growing up, i witnessed many of my own transgender friends be targeted for hate violence based on their nonconformity with gender norms and/or their percieved sexual orientation. Anti-transgender hate crimes continue to be under-reported, often because there is doubt that local authorities will treat them with respect or investigate the crime. Or, there is a fear that exposure as a transgender person will jeopardize their jobs, housing or relationships with friends and family.

But we....I, can't be silent about this! The perpetrators must be brought to justice and the Queens DA must investigate as a hate crime. These punks tend to attack in groups and are cowards, and so we must also stand together to speak up and fight back. The transgender community is part of my community and family. In an earlier post, "Celebrating Pride" I asked, "why do you march?". I march for Leslie Mora, Sanesha Stweart, Nakhia Williams, Ashley Sweeney, Angie Zapata, Lawrence King, Simmie Williams, Ebony Whitaker, Rita Hester, Brandon Teena and many others who have been murdered for being transgender.
(to learn more about them click here)

Transgender Day of Rememberance, was started by activist Gwen Smith, as a day which marks the many lives lost in the transgender community due to hatred and bias.

Hate crimes against anyone in our community is intolerable, join me in doing your part in doing something about it. Speak up and stand up! and protect each other.



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Jul 1, 2009 / Labels:

PRIDE, Progress and the Preoccupation with Cum

Picture it: the year was 1992. So much stuff happened that year. Amy Fisher (the “Long Island Lolita”) shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco , George H.W. Bush threw up in the lap of Japan's Prime Minister, and the Rodney King verdict kicked off the L.A. riots. I was 15 going on 16, newly out of the closet and I couldn't get enough of the village and everything gay. I was so geeked out on Pride that I signed up to be a parade marshal walking alongside the Hetrick-Martin Institute and I broke night from Saturday into Sunday morning. I rushed home to get my turquoise Marshall t-shirt (I was so proud) making it back to the 5th Ave/57th St. area just in time to begin the parade. (image source)

It was overcast that day, but nothing could dampen my spirit. It was so amazing to find myself among other GLBT folks. I had no idea there were that many of us….people from all over the world, in every shape, size, and color. It was amazing. I wanted to see everything, meet everyone and do everything. I felt so safe. Stonewall 25 (2 years later) would easily trump my first Pride in just about every way (attendance, expense, etc.), but as you know…nothing can trump your first time.

The morning of what would be my 17th Pride parade found me browsing the net for news and reporting about Stonewall 40 and its significance. Understandably, the net was jammed with news about the untimely deaths of music legend Michael Jackson and 70’s siren Farrah Fawcett. A friend sent me an article that confirmed what I already thought was true. Nothing has changed. Despite an ease in attitudes toward gay people in much of mainstream society, we have the same rights we did in 1969. Sure, we can marry in certain states, but comprehensive equal rights for GLBT folk extend far beyond being able to say “I do”. Progress my ass.

GLBT second class citizenship has had a profound impact which is reflected in nearly every aspect of our lives. For the purposes of Changing Positions, I’ll focus on sex. The ways in which gay men met and socialized before the internet was determined by the times and the city in which they lived. Men didn’t start cruising parks because it was a sexy thing to do. They did it because circumstances at the time forced them to adapt. We developed non verbal cues, rules and norms around cruising. We did what we had to do to get off. Flash forward to 2009, and guys are still cruising...only this time we also cruise the internet. The technology has changed, but the circumstances haven’t.

Ever since I read about the invisible condom, I’ve been thinking about the time and money Chris Steel and his company must devote to develop a condom that disappears on film. I ain’t mad at him; companies must follow trends and give the audience what they are looking for. Apparently porn customers want to watch men fucking without condoms. What started as an underground movement of amateur pornographers making low-grade bareback porn has morphed into a formidable niche in the gay porn industry. Countless studios have sprung up offering muscle boys, twinks, groups, gay-4-pay “straight boys”, and mature men all engaging in bareback sex in varying degrees of intensity from the pre-condom classics (hey it’s 1965, no one wears condoms – peace man), modern amateur clips (people like it, so we’ll make it) to the “breeding” movies which feature internal cumshots. Most studios include an obligatory disclaimer about bareback sex. To paraphrase: it’s a personal choice between informed partners, our models are tested, blah, blah, blah. Translation: Our guys are fucking without condoms because you lap this shit up, but don’t blame us if you do it and get infected.

Which brings me to the cum. When did we become so obsessed with seeing guys cum inside of each other? Is this like…a known thing, and I’m late to the party? I mean, I guess I understand the concept of cumming uninterrupted into something warm, wet ….and tight, but the breeding films seem to have a fuck the system, living on the edge, Russian roulette quality to them.

So I have questions…

  1. Is it the chicken or the egg? Early news about pre-condom era films being repackaged raised concerns that folks would say fuck it..and stop wearing condoms. What do you think?
  2. Do you watch bareback porn? Why or why not?
  3. Is having bareback sex a way to exert power in a society that keeps us powerless?

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