Crying over spilled Milk/Bad Barebacker!!

Sometime over the past couple of days, private photos of “Milk” screenwriter Dustin Lance Black were leaked on the internet. Our boy is seen getting it on with another blond who is said to have been his boyfriend at the time. In the naughty 3 year old pictures, we can see that Dustin's statue (I couldn't help it) is angled upward (perfect to tap the prostate) and capped with a mushroom head. The pics show Mr. Black leaning over his partner to slob his knob and then laying on his back – giving us the perfect shot of a very bare dick entering his booty. (image source)

A lot has been said by bloggers and readers about whether it’s appropriate or fair to post photos & videos of these very private moments. As an admitted voyeur, I have to say that my curiosity got the best of me. While I do feel a little bad if DLB is embarrassed, anyone who records their most private moments has to know that there is a risk of these moments being revealed to the world – whether you’re famous or not.

Why is this “scandal” relevant to Changing Positions? It's the whole equal-opportunity-first-famous-gay-sex-tape/pictures-fucked-bareback-thing.

My response to the pictures was: “ooh the Milk guy is nekkid…wow…he’s got a fat dick! He’s a bottom – I knew that. They are not using condoms, I wonder how long they went out.” On PerezHilton.com, the responses vary from “That’s gross!” to “We all knew he was gay, now we know he’s hot too” as well as a sprinkling of folks waxing poetic on the dangers of videotaping sex. The responses on Queerclick.com, which has a decidedly more gay (gayer?) readership than Perez Hilton (seriously), focused more on the fact that condoms were not used. I was somewhat taken aback by the QC responses; I guess because in my experience, people talk about using condoms more than they actually use them. I was also a bit offended that folks attacked Mr. Black, suggesting that he tarnished his image as a role model.

Possibly driven by the “outrage” about his bareback pictures, Mr. Black released a statement to eonline’s Marc Malkin on Friday:

"I have had the privilege to speak to people across the country, both gay and straight, on a number of critical issues including safe sex. More important than the embarrassment of this incident is the misleading message these images send. I apologize and cannot emphasize enough the importance of responsible sexual practices."

As a blogger on Changing Positions, I’m a bit conflicted by the QC responses. On one hand, I think it’s great that folks are conscious about the risks associated with unprotected sex. On the other hand, the responses seemed to be knee jerk…as if folks have been programmed to say “shame on you!...bad barebacker!!” which I don’t think is realistic or does us any good. Without proper context, we don’t know how Lance and his partner came to the decision to not use condoms and I’m not comfortable judging them for their behavior.

IMHO, the purpose of sex, STD, and HIV education is to provide individuals with the information they need to make healthy, conscious decisions. The goal is not to paint people into a corner and tell them what they can and cannot do. If we could force people to use condoms there would be no purpose for this blog…

Who and how we fuck does not define us.

A short interview with DLB:







3 comments:

  1. Dre Bryant says

    I think bareback sex is a risky situation, and not recommended for many reason, on the other hand..We as human beings aren't perfect and none can honestly say they never thought about it or even came close to some extent of the nature..But living in todays world you can't be to sure of what your asking for when you go condom-less without someone..even if it's your life partner for many years you still could find yourself in a bad situation..because you dont always know the whole truth about where or who has been sleeping around..and the bottom line is no-sex is the safest sex and yes condoms do protect but overall your the first defense against any STI..Think before you sink your battle ship for the war is never over.


    Leniere says

    Dre...you are absolutely correct. Whether one is in a short or long term relationship, the decision to not use condoms can be profoundly life changing. This truth...this reality... frustrates me to no end, so I try to strike a balance between talking about the risks and considering the reality of human behavior and desire. Thanks for your comment.


    DWPA says

    bareback sex although it is very risky and very dangerous is a choice a person have to make for themselves. In my opinion, i feel bareback sex is not a good choice unless you feel ur ready for it. I think if you feel ur person is committed to you and and ur committed to him doesnt mean that you know everything ur partner is doing.


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