What's Risk to You?
What is Risk? This is a tough question because we all have a our definition of sexual risk. The answers can be as varied as the "sticky" encounters we somtimes find ourselves in. There's no doubt in my mind that sex should and needs to be fun, smart and pleasurable. But our desires and sexual urges can often blur our perception of risk. (image source)
Since the emergence of HIV/AIDS, our community has been saturated with prevention messages. Community based organizations mushroomed across our country and many fallen hero's of the early days of HIV/AIDS fought the status quo to secure many of the services we now have.
So why do MSM Black and Latino men continue to be one of the highest risk groups across the nation? Because there is no one antidote on effective behavior change. That's no surprise! As a community we have been always told of what NOT to do and who NOT to do it with. However, i wonder if we have become complacent with the fact that we do live in a time of AIDS. I sometimes look at those magazines illustrating a man climbing a mountain or sunbathting at the beach with a huge smile and telling us everthing will be O.K. with a once daily anti-retroviral therapy. I sometimes think that it is these types of advertisements that feeds to an impressionable 16yo that hey, if i'm putting myself at risk, it's OK because there are medications i can take just once a day.
So what's risk to you? Are they the subliminal messages in the media? Or are they more real?
Well, if you're like many other MSM men, then they often are.
Suppose you find yourself in this situation:
Your online, horny and looking for action NOW. You have all the right pictures posted and they are ready to be viewed. You start up a chat with "BigTool4You". Your not there to make friends, so, after 3-4 messages you agree to hook up. You go all the way across town and you start to get busy, dick is hard and ready to do the deed. You realize you both dont' have any condoms. (at least there's lube ! thank god!) So you decide to:
a) Let him just slip the head in and pull out before cumming
b) Decide to be the top if your going to fuck raw ( you may rationalize that it will put you less at risk being the top)
or
C) ??? (what's your risk?)
So why do MSM Black and Latino men continue to be one of the highest risk groups across the nation? Because there is no one antidote on effective behavior change. That's no surprise! As a community we have been always told of what NOT to do and who NOT to do it with. However, i wonder if we have become complacent with the fact that we do live in a time of AIDS. I sometimes look at those magazines illustrating a man climbing a mountain or sunbathting at the beach with a huge smile and telling us everthing will be O.K. with a once daily anti-retroviral therapy. I sometimes think that it is these types of advertisements that feeds to an impressionable 16yo that hey, if i'm putting myself at risk, it's OK because there are medications i can take just once a day.
So what's risk to you? Are they the subliminal messages in the media? Or are they more real?
Well, if you're like many other MSM men, then they often are.
Suppose you find yourself in this situation:
Your online, horny and looking for action NOW. You have all the right pictures posted and they are ready to be viewed. You start up a chat with "BigTool4You". Your not there to make friends, so, after 3-4 messages you agree to hook up. You go all the way across town and you start to get busy, dick is hard and ready to do the deed. You realize you both dont' have any condoms. (at least there's lube ! thank god!) So you decide to:
a) Let him just slip the head in and pull out before cumming
b) Decide to be the top if your going to fuck raw ( you may rationalize that it will put you less at risk being the top)
or
C) ??? (what's your risk?)
Posts
I would definitely choose c. And i would probably take the risk of possiblyt getting some cock. we would could always do other things to get off. but their would definitely be no penetration.No sex even if it's good is worth the risks their are when having unprotected sex.
Anonymous says
Hmmmm...how hot is he? how big is the dick? how fat is the ass? that's a tough one. i've kinda been in that situation with a hook up once (maybe more than once...lol). we both did a little dippin' in and out for a minute. but when i saw he was precumin a lot (which i love) i just stuck to suckin him off b/c i felt more comfortable with that. it's hard (pun intended), but you kinda change what u wanna do dependin on the guy (how hot he is), how horny u are, & how long its been...
Anonymous says
First off traveling across town to meet someone off line is a risk it self. You barely know the guy and your risking your life. Sex or even oral sex is not worth your life or even catching anytype of STD.
DulceDeLeche says
Thank you for your comments! I guess each one of us has a decision to make. While there are many risk associated with this particular situation, from deciding to go across town for a hook up to decding to dip, it OUR choice. This may actually be a very Vanilla scenario to others, but the truth is that no matter what we decide to do, that we do it as informed individuals aware of the consequences of our risks.
SCPA says
i would really have to analyze my risk because i am not ready to risk my life for just one night it doesnt matter how good he looks or how far i had to go and plus we could also do other things we dont have to have intercourse.