My Blog

I really, really, love men. From masculine muscle boys to slender twinks; from the Chelsea boy to the Black and Latino bros uptown, I can always find something I like online. Meeting boys online has been convenient, fun, and surprisingly, there have been times when I’ve learned something about myself.

That’s not to say that hooking up doesn’t have its…um…hang-ups. There was that time I made plans with the 25 year old hottie from Brooklyn, only to discover that he’s a 32 year old using a 7 year old picture from when he was 50 pounds lighter. Then there was the guy who climbed on top of me and proceeded to scream bloody murder “oh, oh, oh my god…fuck me!”—I couldn’t feel a thing; his butt had seen better days and he was acting. Then there was the ad someone placed that said “Flood my hole!” What the fuck? Really? In those situations, I find myself wondering about what people are thinking when they place a hookup ad online.

Did Al (fake name) think I wouldn’t notice he’d used an old picture? Did Stan (again, fake name) think that I wouldn’t notice his hole was so wide I could’ve jumped in and he wouldn’t feel it? What were these guys thinking? What are any of us thinking?

These are things that I think about sometimes before, during, or after a hook up…whether it was hot or not. Obviously, these are not questions I’m going to raise right before I drive my tongue up some boy’s butt…and frankly, my friends, like many other gay men, are not keen about talking about fucking when they are not…fucking. Perhaps it’s too embarrassing. Perhaps we don’t have the language to talk about desire.

That’s why I jumped at the chance to participate in this project. This blog will give me the opportunity to explore the questions I have about why we do the things we do and to hear from other men about what drives them. You’ll find that I am not shy about telling it like it is, and I don’t judge. I’m curious about the point where desire meets action and behavior. I don’t have all the answers, but I know where to find them. It’s time to get frank about dick. I hope you will join me.